Life. Laughter. Love.

I thought I couldn’t ever get here. For years after I lost you, I could not dare dream this was possible. Yet here I have found myself, in a place where I can feel alive, where I can laugh and feel moments of pure joy.

Life… to be smirked at really! The lows that leave us wishing we were no longer. The highs that have us wishing life not end.

The lows are treacherous. Not just because they can ache beyond what you believe is possible. But because they can deceive us, and make us believe we can never escape their depths.

But you can. Do not fear, it is not at the cost of forgetting the lost loves and hopes that plunged us under. It is sweeter. We get to keep that love, even the pain that validates the losing. And whilst the turbulent winds can blow the pain back unexpectedly… there is still life to be lived, with joy and love… and it’s available in this lifetime.

These days, I look at the sun, and bask in its warmth, its healing, its bright outlook. I listen to the rain with wonder and thanks for quenching the thirst of the green. I hear music that compels me to dance, and in movement I feel release of hurts amongst the ecstasy of living. So I laugh, and I cry, and I feel gratitude for that moment.

I look into the eyes of the ones I love. Some who I would have never known had it not been for the darkness. And I am overwhelmed by their loving me, despite seeing all my shadows, despite hearing all my screams. And this too brings joy and gratitude for living.

And so, all in all, of course there is horror. But sweet ones, there is also light. I wish for all you Wonders, to free yourselves of night.

And this too shall pass. Xx