Chronic Pain: My Journey to Hope.
Something most people wouldn’t know about me is that for many, many years I have suffered from severe chronic pain in my entire body.
In a word, I believed myself to be broken. Broken, in every way. Stuck in an illness-identify, that fed and consolidated itself each day the slightest physical ‘exertion’ or emotional response, would spin me into agony. It was as if the ‘hardware’ that was my body was all there, but the ‘software’ that is my nervous system was too damaged to know how to effectively operate it. So I hurt... I hurt so, so much. I hurt through Every. Single. Movement.
And here I was. An aspiring dancer.
I felt like I was a joke at times; here I was unable to pour myself a cup of tea without my back going into spasms, sending me into unconsciousness, my wrists collapsing from the hurt, my shoulder unable to support the weight. I couldn’t walk for more than tens of metres at a time without my back losing ability to support me...and yet I was simultaneously asking the same body and mind to excel at dance, to ride my horse, to be a moving human being.
Chronic pain is a very complex response in the body. One that new science and research are shedding much needed light on. And whilst I thank Goodness for the development in this field, that people can now become aware that managing and recovering from chronic pain has so many more options than drugs and surgery... I also acknowledge that the road is not for the faint hearted...
Yes, our bodies possess this incredible thing called Neuroplasticity... for all the severe effects trauma can have on the nervous system, there is a pathway out of that pain. But to change how our nervous system responds is a complex process, needing a listening ear, someone to hold the space for us to express our story, guidance, reassurance, working through multiple set backs, mindset training, breathing, positive lifestyle changes, adapting movement patterns, appropriate somatic stimuli, faith in the process, patience... and most of all, love.
But here I am... whilst not fully ‘recovered’, most definitely on the other side.
It has been a fight, it still is... but I am not broken. My body is a mover, a dancer, adaptive, strong, mobile, a healer, safe, loved. My life no longer revolves around my pain, my pain is something that revolves around my life!
A special shout out to Mathew Richardson from Tecoma Myotherapy and Heal Yourself and Move. You have been pivotal on my road to recovery!
I also highly recommend the book: ‘Pain Hero’s’
“Pain does not necessarily equal tissue damage.” - thank you Mat, I tell this to myself constantly!
Watch the full Interview on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iFjKD_Ibfx8