Dear Jayden,

I spilled over with love. Intensity of feeling I had not felt in too long. I looked at your sweet, cheeky face, humming a tune with one of the softest darling voices I have heard. Unaware of my adoration, my gaze, you played, lost in a world that is your own. I couldn’t take my tear filling eyes away, you are beautiful, innocent, stubborn, strong, a survivor. You are my child. For so long I have felt absent from you, going through the motions of being mother, when all I felt was numbness. I remember when not long ago I realised that I don’t kiss you, that you shy away from my hugs. It stung knowing we had disconnected so much while I found ways to survive the pain of losing your brother. But sweet one, I am back. Your mum has found herself, her love for you was never gone, just locked away from feeling, until now. From my heart to yours my darling Jayden. Mum. xx